iris

I was going to post this as a response to someone else’s post, but realised it wasn’t really relevant to their point. Years ago, when doing my teacher training, we had a guest speaker come & talk to us about our role as teacher when dealing with sexual diversity etc. He was a very conventional looking young white man. It was a seminar type presentation, with discussion along the way. As time went on, he slowly removed his “straight” mask, to show how many students can & do present as heteronormative until if & when they’re ready to come out. I wonder how this would work for autistic advocates who can mask effectively, in small group presentations? Masking as in making eye contact, smiling, a self effacing introduction etc. And then, “This is how I can present when I feel the need. This is how I present when I feel safe or give up caring.” Followed by an explanation of the impact that masking has, the fact that many autistic people can’t mask, the fact that we shouldn’t need to mask etc as well as general autism education. Of course this shouldn’t be necessary & it wouldn’t be in an ideal world. We could make comparisons with women who have to play by the men’s rules in business & politics, the people of colour &/or members of other different ethnic/religious groups who try to “assimilate” to get ahead, & how many struggle to do so, feel like traitors to themselves & their peers, get sick of &/or struggle with pretending to be someone other than they really are. Masking autism is not the same, & this would need to be explained, but I think many people would relate to some of the similarities & the feelings involved. There will always be some people who refuse to learn, who insist on a negative approach as part of their strategy to prop up their own ego. And it’s not them whom I would bother trying to convince. It’s the more reasonable but ignorant people who are open to learning that I think would be worth targeting. ActuallyAutistic group #ActuallyAutistic
0
Grubby Bonobo ActuallyAutistic group '“This is how I can present when I feel the need. This is how I present when I feel safe or give up caring.” Followed by an explanation of the impact that masking has, the fact that many autistic people can’t mask, the fact that we shouldn’t need to mask etc as well as general autism education. Of course this shouldn’t be necessary & it wouldn’t be in an ideal world. ' With that paragraph my eyes opened. /I just realized my mother knew all along./ She taught me to mask from when I was a young child in the 60s, to fit in with any set of adults, to seem an adult or a kid, to act this way or that with my little friends depending on the family or the context. I was the little odd kid who rolled instead of crawling, who didn't learn to speak until placed into a special kindergarten, where I picked up French instead of English. To fit in, to mask. I got soooo good at the acting! All I wanted was to fit in well enough that I got ignored, so I could be invisible, relieved of my burden. My shyness is really my exhaustion at having to try once again to fit in, to think on the fly with people I don't know, who might see the truth if I fail. Am I fraud, an act, not real? Shyness speaking there, getting in the way. I have to think about that. I love the masks, my tools. I'm thinking up new strategies. And to think my mother knew all along I was #actuallyautistic. I'm flabbergasted. Were she still alive, I'd call her up right now... Really good post Susan60. Thanks.
0