Post by Ashamed Meerkat
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(30 - 26)
30) New Pokemon Snap
As you just saw, Pokemon on the Nintendo Switch has an ATROCIOUS track record – but only the mainline Pokemon RPGs! When it comes to Pokemon spinoffs, the Switch has actually been host to quite a few good ones, among the most notable ones being the loooong overdue sequel to Pokemon Snap on the N64. The 1999 Pokemon photography simulator, which plays like the world’s most wholesome on-rail shooter, was a really neat and fun experiment, but so light on actual content that is was arguably never more than a must-rent game. The Switch sequel on the other hand is a very different beast, fleshing out and dramatically improving on the N64 game, while boasting enough content that I felt no compunction about paying full price for it (the game later on even received some very high-quality Free DLC!).
Also, after Pokemon Sword/Shield’s ugly and drab Wild Area, and the only potential distraction from Pokemon Scarlet/Violet’s hideousness being its catastrophically bad performance, it’s so nice to have a Pokemon game boast thoroughly beautiful visuals for a change, and actually make the world of Pokemon inviting and magical again. It’s hardly perfect – triggering various special reactions from a number of Pokemon seems either janky or at the very least unintuitive – but New Pokemon Snap is still such a giant upgrade over Old Pokemon Snap that the 22 year-long wait *almost* feels fully justified.
Based Morality Score: Neutral
29) Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity
Making a Breath of the Wild prequel that wasn’t even a proper Zelda game, but another Hyrule Warriors was certainly a novel idea, yet one that actually turned out pretty great. Sure, in terms of story Age of Calamity undeniably chickened out, opting for spectacle and wish fulfilment rather than embracing its potential to become Zelda’s answer to Torna: The Golden Country, but it was still an enjoyable tale. Tragically, it’s also by far the strongest BotW-related narrative we ever received in terms of both plot and presentation – THAT’S how bad BotW and TotK both are on the story side of things.
Aside from its enjoyable, if overly safe and ultimately non-canon Zelda story, Age of Calamity is a really good Warriors game, in large part due to just how unique and fun each playable character is, and the excitement of seeing just how deep Omega Force could successfully dive into BotW’s pool of characters. It also looks really nice, attempting to replicate BotW’s gorgeous visuals, though this comes at the price of some pretty bad performance issues. That said, AoC’s gameplay loop was still so rewarding and addictive that I ultimately ended up putting some 80 hours into this bad boy, it being the first ever Warriors game I truly got into (Hyrule Warriors on the Wii U just never clicked with me).
Based Morality Score: Neutral
28) Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition
Speaking of the original Hyrule Warriors, it received a MASSIVE upgrade in the form of a Definitive Edition more than worthy of the name. And after enjoying Age of Calamity and a certain other Warriors game that also made this list as much as I did, I was much more open to give this game another go – the prospect of controlling that likes of Midna, Fi (yes, I really like Fi, fuck you!) and Skull Kid was just too appealing for a Zelda fan like me to pass up on once I knew the Warriors gameplay wouldn’t actually prove a dealbreaker.
And wouldn’t you know it, I ended up enjoying HW:DR tremendously – the character roster is fucking MASSIVE, and yet almost every warrior available is a very worthwhile part of the cast that’s a treat to control, even if I can’t help but resent the anti-Skyward Sword bias (Groose got robbed goddammit!). Sure, the story campaign is much weaker than the one in Age of Calamity, but due to its truly monstrous side content this is just SUCH good time sink, one which will give you stuff to do and work towards for literally hundreds of hours. Whether you just have 10 minutes to spare and want to knock a short and simple mission out of the way, or whether you want to spend hours and hours immersed in this button-mashing power fantasy, Hyrule Warriors delivers the goods – hell, the sheer wealth of characters even helps somewhat ameliorate the game’s repetitive nature.
Oh, and as a bonus the game even boasts some nice fanservice, along with accidental racism (largely in the form of the same character no less!).
Based Morality Score: +1
27) Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle
Mario + Rabbids is just such an easy game to review, and I’m sure pretty much everyone say the exact same thing about it: this game had no right to even exist in the first place, let alone be this good! There was no reason for Ubisoft to put THIS much effort into the game, to make the visual SO lush and beautiful, to deliver SUCH a lovely soundtrack etc – but they did, and the result was one of the most shockingly excellent games in recent memory. Hell, even the writing and humor is on point (the Phantom’s anti-Mario diss track was an instant classic)
Granted, there are still a fair few turn-based strategy games on the Switch that I prefer to Mario + Rabbids, and the game is also bizarrely unstable – I had it crash on me like 3-4 times, and it only takes 40-50 hours to hundred percent, so that’s a pretty bad track record. Still, during these times when everyone is dunking on Ubisoft for Assassin's Creed George Floyd Edition, Mario + Rabbids serves as a useful reminder that those frogs do employ (or at least used to employ) some genuinely talented people.
Based Morality Score: Neutral
26) Pokémon Legends: Arceus (varishangout.com/index.php?threads/pokemon-legends-arceus-writeup.2751/)
Back when it first came out, Legends: Arceus almost felt like an apology for Pokemon Sword/Shield being so shit, and seemed like a sign of Game Freak finally committing to evolve and improve the Pokemon RPGs – only for Pokemon Scarlet/Violet to arguably be EVEN WORSE than SS, a hideous and borderline unplayable glitchy mess that didn’t even boast a great Waifu lineup (Iono is so much better than the other SV girls that it’s not even funny). I guess Game Freak might have something of a Team A and Team B situation going on – one faction just wanting to keep scamming the Pokemon paypigs, while another faction actually desires to make Pokemon the best series it can be.
If so, Legends: Arceus is obviously a Team B product – despite various flaws and shortcomings, this was still an incredibly refreshing Pokemon experience, full of bold new ideas and showing an almost shocking willingness to innovate. It really did feel like Pokemon’s BotW, for better and worse (certainly for worse in the case of the overworld music, I have to say), and while Game Freak is far inferior to Nintendo EPD, Pokemon is actually better suited for the open world format than Zelda is, and the core formula of Arceus works extremely well as a result. Hell, they even made the mere act of CATCHING Pokemon a whole lot of fun, and the normally terrible Forced EXP Share system actually feels justified in a game that so aggressively pushes you to quickly catch and evolve a lot of Pokemon. Also, while hardly a stunning game graphically, I actually think LA’s art style is really quite lovely – too bad the Game Freak dipshits ditched it for Legends: Z-A, instead opting for the ugly and soulless Scarlet/Violet style!
…yeah, I don’t really have the highest hopes for Z-A.
Based Morality Score: -1
:Nintendo_Switch: (25 - 21) :Nintendo_Switch:
25) Splatoon 3
Purely in terms of quality and value, Splatoon 3 definitely ought to be a good few spots higher on this list. The original Splatoon on the Wii U was already an excellent game, (the core concept behind this family friendly team-based shooter might just have been Nintendo’s single greatest gaming idea since Smash Bros.), and Splatoon 2 was even better. Splatoon 3 further improves on its predecessors, with more content and a more robust singleplayer campaign, as well as giving you all sorts of neat little rewards for simply playing the game – and Splatoon 3 is something you can easily end up playing for hundreds of hours. In terms of presentation, playability and polish, it truly is a top-notch game.
And yet…I’m not really feeling it. A big part of the problem is the tranny-infested “Splatoon Community” inevitably being part of Splatoon 3 experience, given how the game revolves around its plaza and its online multiplayer – and it’s a problem exacerbated by the game’s own tendency towards faggy gender neutral language and singular they spam. But even beyond that, part of me has resented the series ever since a fateful Splatoon 1 update that greatly reduced the match rewards you receive based on your individual performance, instead making it almost entirely dependent on your team’s performance and thereby leaving you at the mercy of Splatoon’s TERRIBLE matchmaking.
It doesn’t help that Splatoon 3, while a superb game overall, doesn’t really bring much new to the table at all – even Splatoon 2, itself a rather unambitious sequel, at least introduced the excellent Salmon Run co-op mode. It’s still the most complete and solid Splatoon experience overall, and so thoroughly Replaces Splatoon 2 that the latter game was never even considered for a spot on this list (despite being a 9/10 when judged on its own merits), but I just can’t rank a game that ultimately left me cold any higher.
Also, while I’ll defend Shiver’s design without hesitation, Frye is 100% a crack baby!
Based Morality Score: -2
24) F-Zero 99
Meanwhile, here you have a game that straight up angered and disgusted me when it was first revealed, but which ended up not only winning me over, but became one of my most-played games on the console! Yeah, a TRUE HD F-Zero would of course have been even better – but it turned out that F-Zero and the battle royale genre is an astonishingly good fit, making for extremely fun and addictive racing action.
Hell, I'm not even a big fan of the SNES F-Zero (its sequel is like 64 times better), but Nintendo made all sorts of smart changes and adjustments to F-Zero 99 to immensely improve the gameplay experience: the tracks have become much wider to make things far less cramped and claustrophobic, a new spin attacks encourages far greater levels of aggression, the altered boosting system (boosts now consume your ship’s health) adds a brilliant risk-reward balancing act, and the game designating 4 similarly-tiered Rivals for you to compete against every race gives even Noobs realistic goals to strive for, along with a real sense of accomplishment even if they only score a modest overall placement. And of course, the new Skyway feature provides a comeback mechanic of sorts while still keeping races firmly skill-based (F-Zero 99’s BIG advantage over Mario Kart 8 DX).
F-Zero 99 really did end up being shockingly good, and on its own makes the Nintendo Switch Online service worth it for me. Yes, the game only having 4 ships to pilot is kinda pathetic, but somehow that hasn’t prevented me from participating in literally thousands of races without ever getting bored or burned out. Now we just need F-Zero XXX (or whatever Nintendo wants to call it) to be announced for the Switch 2 already!
Based Morality Score: Neutral
23) Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
This is the single best-selling Switch game in existence, and while its placement on my list suggests that this isn’t necessarily 100% deserved, it also indicates that it’s not a complete miscarriage of justice either. Truth is, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe IS a fantastic racing game, and factoring in the Paid DLC, I’d argue it might even rival F-Zero GX for the title of Nintendo’s best racing game ever. Not counting Paid DLC for this list, the game does end up dropping a few spots, but still very comfortably makes the Top 25.
Even without the DLC the track selection is still phenomenal, boasting such a wealth of fantastic, extremely well-designed tracks – though I personally think that the track design in Mario Kart Wii was just as good. However, MK8 is unrivaled in terms of gameplay and presentation – it easily FEELS the best out of any Mario Kart game, the controls and the sense of speed is pretty much perfect, and even today it’s an undeniably GOERGEOUS game. Of course, it’s also a game that’s heavily luck-based – which is admittedly part of its core identity and a big reason for its absurdly strong mainstream, casual appeal, but that doesn’t make it any less maddening when a string of bad luck leaves you completely helpless, and has you rolling into 9th place despite having done nothing wrong whatsoever.
And yeah, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is easily better than the Wii U version even without factoring in the Paid DLC – not only does the base game now include all of the Wii U version’s own Paid DLC, but it also added some cool new characters to somewhat fix a bafflingly bad roster – and it also took Mario Kart 8’s shit-tier battle mode, easily the worst in the series so far, and replaced it with arguably the BEST battle mode in the series, finally making this game the complete Mario Kart package.
Based Morality Score: Neutral
22) Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes (varishangout.com/index.php?threads/fire-emblem-warriors-three-hopes-writeup.2807/)
Three Hopes, like F-Zero 99, is a game that I hastily dismissed at first, only for it to later completely win me over. This is very much alternate universe Three Houses first, and a Warriors game second. For someone like me, who really loves Three Houses, that’s obviously a good thing. And Three Hopes not only ended up matching Three Houses in many ways, but it’s actually a straight up upgrade in a number of areas, especially with regards to how the big war campaign is handled.
In terms of story, writing and characterization, this game almost never sets a foot wrong – and the flaws it does have (like faggy singular they spam) are flaws it shares with Three Houses. It’s also a super fun Warriors game for the most part – though it’s of course its Warriors-limitations that ultimately makes it a lesser experience than Three Houses, despite all the things it does so well. It also has another notable shortcoming, namely a relative lack of unit variety, especially compared to the two Hyrule Warriors games I covered earlier, despite Three Hopes easily being the overall superior game. Hell, Three Hopes even REMOVED certain cool classes from Three Houses, which would really have helped provide more gameplay variety.
That being said, it’s not like these failings prevented me from spending more than 200 hours on this game, so we’re not talking about anything close to dealbreakers here. Also, we should all be forever grateful to Three Hopes for exposing GloboHomo advocate Claude as a total scumbag – and even providing you with an opportunity to kill him off!
Based Morality Score: +1/-2
21) Pikmin 3 Deluxe
Even back on the Wii U, when I wasn’t really into Pikmin, I still thought Pikmin 3 was an excellent game – it was just over way too quickly, it was like I reached the end credits just when I’d started to truly get to grips with the 3 Captain switching system and various other more advanced mechanics. So when the Switch port of Pikmin 3 not only added dozens of Paid DLC challenge missions from the Wii U version (DLC which I never bought), but also a really neat epilogue campaign involving Olimar and Louie, this was just what I had needed for the whole Pikmin 3 experience to truly click with me.
And this really is in so many ways Peak Pikmin – the thoroughly unique real-time strategy puzzle gameplay was always very compelling, but here it has been refined and polished until it absolutely shines, and the ability to switch between 3 Captains for some truly epic multitasking has elevated the gameplay to the point where it truly soars. Yeah, the main campaign is still quite short and easy, and the game relies pretty heavily on its challenge missions to provide true longevity – but this is still a fantastic game, and there’s strong case to be made for this being the best in the series.
Based Morality Score: Neutral
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Christi Junior singular they? more like singular GAY
Christi Junior Pikmin 4 taught us the word dandori and adding less deranged autistic challenge rooms made it more approachable but Pikmin 3 is THE dandori Pikmin. Skilled play can do so much with the three captains and you do not even have to be great for this multitasking to feel extremely rewarding.... show more
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